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Conservative . But not a traditionalist . Impulsive . Unpredictable . Single . Sometimes available. But sometimes not.

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Saturday, April 10, 2010

The Perfectionist

Perfectionist. Choosy. Fussy. Late.

Yes, I was always late for submission. That was who I am during matriculation centre. I am the one who always wanted to produce only the perfect drawings and sketches. Every sketches I produced, I’ll make sure it was perfect for submission. Or at least, it looked perfect.

For me, perfection is something that I can create. Thus I tried to make each lines and strokes perfectly done. Sometimes, my first few lines in the sketch might look awful, so-not-me-kind-of-stroke. But I still can make them look perfect with the right type of rendering. But for perspective drawings, sometimes when they looked awkwardly distorted, I will just redo them again. Because distorted perspectives can never be perfected to matter what media I use.

And these are things that always made me submitted my works late. And as the result, I often lost my mark because of late submission, even though my works were perfect. And even though one of my lecturers said, ‘Nice sketch. I know you are a perfectionist, but you are late.’ Sigh…

Guess, I never learnt the lesson. In fact I always realize that life can never be perfect. But as far as I can, perfection is something that I want to achieve. So I try my best to be the perfect staff for my boss. Each projects, each tasks, will be done perfectly, but since in working environment, late means money, I try to catch up everything and make sure that everything is perfectly completed within schedule. Even though I have to burn my midnight oil. Even though I have to do it alone. Because I am willing to. Because I want to see the perfection.

I try to do the same thing in my life too. I want perfection, as long as they are within my capabilities. I myself am not perfect, but I have a degree, a career, a little something that can make me proud, I cook, clean, wash.

I love to expand my knowledge. My future planning consists of a perfect successful career/business, a perfectly loving future husband, a dream simple garden wedding on 20.10.2010, a perfect home, and a perfect family of my own. I do regret things that came across and scratched my perfect future planning. But there are price that I have to pay. I am exhausted. I am frustrated. I am late. But nothing seems to be perfect.

Guess I need an angel by my side whispering, “Hey, ‘perfect’ is a word created in the dictionary by those who are dreamers, GB. Wake up!”

I hope I am not too late to realize. I am opening up my eyes now.

8 comments:

  1. Like the Perfect Man, a Great Winter Wedding Dress is Hard to Find, ;-D

    ReplyDelete
  2. fidde

    i know u.. =)
    it's not wrong but sometimes
    it was just not right!

    and sometimes imperfect makes more
    value than perfect! gheeeee~

    just a little thing to ponder.
    have a nice day!

    ReplyDelete
  3. thx dear ayin. sometimes i need something to make me realize that 'perfect' itself isn't perfect.

    ReplyDelete
  4. perfect is just a word..

    satisfaction of doing it, is more important..

    terkadang perfect pun x bleh buat kite puas ati.. tul tak..?

    apapun i pray ur dreams come true..
    20102010 tuh.. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  5. thx! tiap2 tahun berazam tapi tak jadi2 pon. kene mandi air bunga tayar agaknye baru jadi nih! huhuhu

    ReplyDelete
  6. may friends, dont try to be perfect just to show it to your boss. Dont.

    Its a dangerous mindset because it will push you to become competitive person, with competitive mindset.

    It will diminish your creativity and push down your internal motivation. Trust me, I've been dong the same.

    Instead, think creatively how you can be the best among your peers and co-workers, as best as you can. Set what you want to achieve in your job then move on to achieve it!

    ReplyDelete

...kerana komenmu begitu berharga! :D